On our 30th day

A message to the man I loved the most,

I’ve been thinking a lot lately on how I should start this letter. I came now to a certain point of time, where I have nothing to worry about, no more heartaches, no more insecurities, no more sadness, and no more doubts. And all of these was because of you.

       You came into my life unexpectedly. You take my heart by surprise and you completely changed my life into something better.

       I can never deny the fact that I made mistakes, I had the worst experiences from the past and I stood for wrong decisions. But none of those made me regret anything. Those failures were my key to knowing you. If things happened differently, I may not have known you for sure.

       I want you to know that you are the best thing that happened to me now. Words can’t hardly explain how grateful I am to have you. You’ve given me hope and courage to live life happily. I thank God for the chance to know you. His plans were absolutely amazing. I have questioned His existence just because of my failures before you. But now, those experiences made me realized that God prepared something for me, and that was You.

       Thank you for everything. Thank you for bringing back the life I deserved. Thank you for accepting me wholeheartedly. Thank you for lifting me up from the darkness and thank you for being my sunshine every day. I could not ask for more. You were more than enough to what I’ve been praying for.

       I am happy. I am contented and I am committed. I will forever stay by your side and let’s fulfill our promises TOGETHER.

       I love you ❤️️

Getting to Know me: Chapter 1

Getting to know me: Chapter 1

(Traits/Characteristics, Foods, Fashion and Hobbies)

It was Friday, 13^th of August in the year 1993 when I was born. I was raised in Barangay Guilon, Samal City. I live at the island not until I started working. I am the eldest of the family with only one sibling. My parents were Silvestre Hilaga Pellerin and Hilaria Bastillada Bacus (maiden name).

I am already living independently since 2014, considering that my first job was in Davao Oriental. I came back sa Samal that was when I was assigned in Babak Branch (MLhuillier Financial Services Inc.) for only 6 months.

I am an introvert type of person. I tend to be more quiet, reserved and introspective. Being around too many drains my energy. I only have a small group of close friends. I am very self-aware, and people find it difficult to know me.

I like frank, real, and open-minded friends. That’s all I need. On the other hand, I hate hypocrites, judgmental and close-minded individuals. I used to have a few girlfriends and I have friends who were boys. Why? (Bisaya para intense) Kapuy making friends ug babae kay honestly most of the time, mag sigeg panlibak ug tsismis sa kinabuhi sa ubang tao and I find it hago. Labad bes! Girls, di ta magpretend, this is realistic. Whereas pag boys imong friends, though tsismoso pud na sila usahay pero not in the way nga mag cgeg panlibak and mind you dili na sila mangunay ug libak nimo. Sa akong experience, so far wala koy amigo nga lalaki nga backstabber, hope wala jud, unlike girls. They are even more real kaysa sa babae, usahay we used to pretend when we are in our circle of friends. So, honestly speaking, we don’t have the right to judge a girl having friends who were boys because we all have our own unique reasons. “Flirt na sya kay lalaki iyang friends”. Oh! Common, ka mabaw ba ug panghunahuna, 2019 na and hapit na mag 2020. Don’t me!

I am competitive and I used to do things at my best. I hate failures and that’s one of my weakness. I easily get depressed, but I’m learning from it.

Now, let’s talk about food. I have some problems with my metabolism. I have fast metabolism making it hard for me to gain weight. That’s why I stay “payat’, but not bitokon. There are some instances nga manambok ko and that’s because I’m taking vitamins that boost my appetite. On my regular diet, I’m not into eating vegetables. I eat fast food a lot. But when I’m taking vitamins, I can eat selected vegetables and that’s amazing. I counted it as an achievement. I love food delivery, that’s why wala akong ipon. I am kuripot to other stuff but not with what I am eating. I am also generous, but if magsabot ta nga chip-in ta sa kaon, chip-in jud ta.

Fashion. I’m not into wearing trendy clothes for girls. I am contented wearing jeans and pants when I go out. But there were also instances that I wore dress, and that depends on my mood. I am not into branded clothes kay kuripot ko and magsakit akong buot mugasto sa pricy nga damit, except Macbeth brand. I love wearing ukay fashion if I feel like dressing up like a girl. However, tapulan ko mangukay, that depends on my mood as well. Favorite color is black and mustard yellow.  The reason, why I don’t like wearing a dress, is that clumsy ko usahay (LOL). I rather chose sneakers over sandals. I love wearing a cap as well. I am not into wearing pieces of jewelry and all. A necklace is already enough.

Hobbies. Surfing on the internet, watching movies, writing (blogging), and maglaag (maskin way kwarta). Surfing on the internet, not just browsing Facebook but I also love watching videos from famous influencer (youtuber). I do have social media apps and that includes Facebook, YouTube channel, Instagram, and Snapchat. I once wanted to become a vlogger, but when I started taking videos of me talking to myself, I find it awkward and horrible. I used to watch K-dramas and used to get addicted into it. I also love watching original Netflix films and MCU movies. I love visiting new places and I always wanted to travel.

This is it for now. That’s me when we talk about personality traits, foods, hobbies and fashion. Next, let’s talk about love life and career. Watch out for it! (LOL).  

An Answered Prayer

An Answered Prayer

We all came to a point in our life that we all doubt if God really exists. The time where we considered He already turned His back to a sinner person like us. The time where we thought that we’re an outcast in His kingdom. The time that we questioned Him, from all people on Earth, “Why is this happening to me?”.

Things happen, problems exist, and challenges measure our faith, but in the end, keep in my mind to trust His plans. He has always better plans. The storm that you have been through will be your key to see the beauty of trusting His ways. One day you will wake up and realize that thanking God is now all that you need to do. 

In life, you will meet someone whom you thought to be the answers of your longtime prayers. Someone whom you thought God sent it to be your partner and to be there as your helping hand in facing trials and challenges in life. Someone whom you thought who brings out the best in you. Someone whom you assumed to be your protector, and someone who will conquer the world with you. But just a blink of an eye, everything changes. You will realize that the person you thought that would stay with you only comes into your life to give you your greatest lesson but not meant to stay forever. It hurts so much to know that you have invested your life and energy to someone who was just temporary. They are just bypassers or God’s instrument to prepare yourself to your real battle. After you have accepted the pain and learned from it, you’ll feel what joy really is.

And now that you have fully accepted the learning, it’s time for you to move forward and see how beautiful His plans were. You will now realize that there’s even brighter future awaits you. You will now see what He truly wants you to have or to become. But there’s more, God also has prepared someone who will back you up. And this time, it’s the one, the real one.  That person who was there not just as your helping hand but also a shoulder that you can lean on during your ups and downs. That person who doesn’t just bring out the best in you but also pulled you up in your worst. That person who stands not just your protector but also your guiding star and knight in shining armor. And that person who inspires you how to love and appreciate yourself before others. That person who teaches you how valuable and how deserving you are to be treated just and fair. And that person who brings back your lost faith to Him. 

Now, when it happens all you need to do is to grateful every second of the day. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)  

👼 Angel


- Disclaimer:
This blog was created based on my own experience. I did not intend to promote someone or something, but this is to share how was my experience. For comments and recommendations feel free to speak up. Don't be too harsh for your comments, I just started writing a blog, be my helping hand to become better. Peace for all of us!

A New Beginning

A new beginning 

            For the past few years of my life, I've been suffering to what we called depression. Some of my new friends know about it since I am not really an open book. I've been writing pieces also about depression, but I am keeping it for myself for it may also cause negativity to other readers. 

        But for now, I am proud to say that I have pulled myself up from the depths of depression. Yes, it's never an easy thing. Depression is not just weeklong suffering or a month-long agony. It stays for years, along with your insecurities, self-pity, criticism and false hopes.

        I was once a great adviser for some of my friends, but never good enough in my own decision making. I have once imprisoned myself to a certain perspective that hinders me to explore the beauty of life. I was once stubborn who failed to accept comments and better suggestions from other people. I was once living a life that I thought it was right and I am fighting for it against all odds. And I was once a devil, but later found out a helping hand of an angel.

        Realizations come in the end. Later I found out that it was all me. It’s me who creates my own problem, my own insecurities, my own doubts, and my own suffering. As the saying goes, “You can only reap what you sow”, it clearly explains that you can’t have all the positivity that you desire when you planted a negative seed in your being.

        Everything is now clear. Thanks to those who stayed behind my fight of depression. Especially to that someone who completely held me up to rise back and become better. Someone who opened my eyes that there so much good things await.

-      Angel 👼

Disclaimer:
This blog was created based on my own experience. I did not intend to promote someone or something, but this is to share how was my experience. For comments and recommendations feel free to speak up. Don't be too harsh for your comments, I just started writing a blog, be my helping hand to become better. Peace for all of us!